The Secret I Live By: Cows Don't Give Milk
Early in my career, chasing what I thought was success, I found myself frustrated. I had done everything I was told to do—I got the education, I put in the hours, I had the ambition—but the results I craved felt distant, almost random. It felt like I was waiting for life to simply give me what I thought I deserved. It was a period of profound disillusionment, and it forced me to confront a lie I hadn't even realized I believed.
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| The reward is not a gift; it is the inevitable result of a dedicated process. |
The breakthrough came not in a boardroom, but in a simple, rustic realization that has since become the cornerstone of my entire philosophy. I call it the "Secret of the Cow." And the secret is this: cows don't give milk.
That statement seems absurd on the surface, but it holds the key to understanding how the world truly works. A cow doesn't just hand you a carton of milk. The milk is a result of a process—a demanding, daily, and often messy process. It requires waking up at 4 a.m., walking through the mud, securing the animal, and doing the hard, repetitive work of milking. You either commit to the process, or you go without the reward. The milk is never a gift; it is always earned.
I realized that I, like so many others, had been raised with the mindset that cows do give milk. That success, happiness, and fulfillment were things you could wish for, ask for, and receive. But life is not a supermarket where blessings are neatly packaged. Life is a farm. And on the farm, you learn a fundamental truth: what you get is a direct result of the work you put in.
The Mindset of Entitlement: A Generation That Thinks Cows Give Milk
This is not an indictment of any generation, but an observation of a cultural shift. The "I want, I ask, I get" mentality is a dangerous trap, and it is the primary source of so much of the disappointment and frustration we see in the world today.
We scroll through social media and see the highlight reels of others' lives—the new car, the successful business, the perfect family. It looks so easy, so automatic. We don't see the 4 a.m. wake-ups, the years of thankless work, the manure they had to walk through to get there. We see the milk, but we don't see the milking. This creates a deeply flawed expectation that success should be easy and instantaneous. When it's not, we feel like a failure, not realizing that we've simply misunderstood the process.
Life isn't about wishing, asking, and receiving. That is the formula for childhood. As adults, the formula changes. It's about vision, strategy, and execution. Happiness, success, a strong body, a healthy relationship—these are not things you are given. They are the results of effort. A strong body is the result of countless workouts. A successful business is the result of years of risk and sacrifice. A happy marriage is the result of daily acts of love and forgiveness. When you skip the effort, all you are left with is the bitter taste of disappointment.
The Great Lesson: What Will You Milk Today?
This is the lesson I had to teach myself, and it's the lesson I now share with my children and my clients. We must unlearn the idea that the government, our parents, or a charming smile will hand us everything we need. Life simply doesn't work that way. This is the foundation of true personal power and accountability.
Your "cows" are the sources of the value you want in your life. They are not the results themselves, but the processes that lead to them.
- If you want financial security, your cow is not money; it is your skillset, your work ethic, your discipline to save and invest. You must milk these every day.
- If you want knowledge, your cow is not a certificate; it is the daily habit of reading, studying, and asking questions. You must milk these every day.
- If you want health, your cow is not a magic pill; it is the daily choice to eat well, to exercise, and to rest. You must milk these every day.
The world is full of people staring at their cow, wishing for milk. The successful are the ones who pick up the bucket and get to work.
In my own story, and in the story of every successful person I know, the path to the reward is never clean. It is filled with "manure"—the failures, the rejections, the tedious tasks, the difficult conversations, and the early mornings. Too many people give up because they are unwilling to walk through the mess. But it is in navigating this mess that we build the character, resilience, and skills necessary to earn the reward. There is no milk without the manure.
Your Bucket, Your Hands, Your Future
The secret that "cows don't give milk" is the most powerful piece of wisdom I have ever integrated into my life. It is the antidote to the culture of entitlement and the foundation of a life of purpose and achievement. It is a celebration of the good work that builds a meaningful existence.
So, I ask you today, what is the "milk" you are wishing for in your life? And more importantly, what is the "cow" you need to start milking, today, to get it? Stop waiting to be given what you must earn. Pick up your bucket. The work is waiting.
My passion is to facilitate these transformational conversations that move us from a mindset of receiving to a mindset of creating. If you are ready to stop waiting for the milk and start learning how to milk, I am here to connect.
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